A few things come to mind in particular. One: Why on this day more than others would Jesus return, didn't the Bible say it would be like "a thief in the night" and why aren't I just as anxious every other day of the year. Secondly, and more importantly, what am I anxious about? Surely I am saved and there is nothing to be worried about as paradise awaits me.
The truth is it seems that on this night I am made most aware of my need for God's grace, that I have no hope on my own, and I fear that there is some part of me that has stopped the fullness of God's grace in my life. But I am going to view this awareness of my need to God's saving grace as a good thing, and say that this is an attitude I need to have all year round. I need to realise that I am a sinful man of carnal nature, and am in desperate need of His grace every day. It would be a dangerous thing to get complacent about. So this is going to be my main resolution for this year.
Resolutions are a funny thing. They are tackled with renewed strength and determination with a new year. Is there any surprise then that we fail so often to keep these with such shaky motivations. It's often quoted that we need to live in God's strength, but in time I find we forget this and go back to doing it in our own. So my prayer is that we will always be aware of the need for His strength also.
2 Cor 12:7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. 8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
What an amazing verse. At first, it's our nature to despair at our weaknesses, and we try our best to improve, even asking God to take them away. What Paul is telling us here is that we are to be thankful for our weakness! For without them God can not use us, for there is no weakness in us that He can use to made strong, and be glorified. I think God chooses to use the weak, so that when He does amazing things through us, there can be no mistake that it was Him and not us!
Last year I made these resolutions: -
1/ To be closer to knowing what I'm doing when I graduate - I feel like I know this a bit better now. God has got me dreaming again. I have also taken a job with the Northern bank ~ i did not see that one coming!
2/ I want to be more bold in my faith - err, I'll let God be the judge of that one!
3/ And to stop biting my nails! - completely and utterly failed lol!
My other resolution this year is to do with small talk. I'm finding myself having less and less energy for small talk. It's great to greet one another affectionately, but why do we feel the need to follow the same monotonous protocol of asking the same questions and giving the usual responses. This is one of the many things I am also a hypocrite of, and so I (in God's strength of course!) will try to get better at. This has been in part the inspiration for changing my blog name from "scorah's small talk"!
Remember... "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. " ~Phil 4:13
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